Still dealing

By Sophie Graves

LifeatStart.com reporter

On September 11th, 2009 my life changed drastically. My mom passing away has taught me a lot; I was only eight when it happened. My perspective on life is different from most of my friends and it’s been like this since I can remember.

I’m 16 years old now and I’ve spent half my life without my mom. I had to learn a lot of things on my own since I never had a mother figure in my life. I started to feel more depressed as the years went by. Her death didn’t hit hard until years later. I always thought to myself “I don’t understand why there’s so many older people still alive.” I don’t think like this now. My mom was always happy and she would do anything for anyone. She trusted people that didn’t deserve it and because of that she’s not here anymore.

My dad would never let me watch the news whenever they would talk about it so I never knew what happened. One day I was more curious than usual so I looked it up on my own. It was upsetting and after that I started to dwell on it even though there was nothing I could do. Being at school was even worse, I always thought since they had my older siblings they would know, but they didn’t and almost every year I got asked the same questions as to why I’m not participating for Mother’s Day projects. When I was younger it was harder for me to respond so I’d end up just crying. Now it’s not people asking me questions that upsets me, it’s the people that talk badly about their loved ones. Listening to my closest friends and people around me talk about how much they hate their parents or how they get upset with them because they didn’t get what they wanted is hard.

Eight years later, I have accepted it, I no longer dwell on it, and in some ways it has gotten better. My mom’s death is no longer one of the first things I think about when I wake up, nor is it the last thing I think about before I fall asleep. I’m just somewhat content and still dealing with it the best I can.