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Biting My Tongue

By Nijah Randolph-Williams

Recently I have been dealing with a lot of self judgment about how I act, and the things I say. Instead of focusing on the things I dislike about my personality, I’ve been trying to focus on the things that will make me a better person overall.

The number one thing I’m trying to work on is how quick I am to talk without thinking first, it gets me into a lot of trouble. I always realize after the fact, nine times out of ten, what I said really wasn’t smart and I always end up having to do damage control, when I could have just avoided it all together; I’ve been doing this since I was young, and I think it’s because I always want to be right, which is something else I hope to change. It’s very hard for me to admit when I’m wrong or need help, which usually just makes whatever the situation is worse, and whoever I was talking to angry or annoyed. If I just start owning up to my mistakes, it would eliminate a lot of the problems I have with other people. The next thing I know would make me better, is if i gain overall self control when it comes to my anger.

There’s many things in this world that makes me irritated, but the problem is when I let that small irritation, turn into a lot of anger. Despite how much I talk, I rarely let a person know when I have a problem with them, so over time the small problems I have with individuals, turns into a lot of anger with I have with everybody. When I get angry, I blow up at any and everybody around, and say things I don’t truly mean which causes me to sever a lot of relationships I have with people. I hate that I do this because I don’t even stay mad long, as soon as I’m able to voice how I’m feeling it’s over for me, the problem no longer exists.

I just hope to become a more mature person, I like to think I already am, but I know there’s much more I hope to work on before l become stuck in my ways. Changing these qualities will not only help me become a better student, but it will help become a much better person, and overall help me in life.

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